Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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