He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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