After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
