I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
