i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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