Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
