Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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