i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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