I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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