You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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