I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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