i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
