I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
