I think I just saw someone hide a body.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
