'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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