Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
