i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
