I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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