Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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