Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
babies were throwing up all over the place
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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