I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
