what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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