I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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