I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
