Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
