We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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