It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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