also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
