I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
operation have a gay friend backfired
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
