Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
