Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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