You can't motorboat a personality
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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