Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
