we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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