that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
