Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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