Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He has the fingertips of a God
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
