best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
