I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
