He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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