he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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