she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
