I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize