I think I died a long time ago.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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