mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Four minutes until I can fart!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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