i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
