i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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