Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
