: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
