Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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