Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
And then my night got REAL pukey
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize