i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going