someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that