I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
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best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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