i just wanna soil my oats bro
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens