So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed