Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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