what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
