Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
