i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
