I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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