I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
