i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Randomize
