yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
