Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
this will be a night to untag.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
