med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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