i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
People in love make me want to vomit
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
