what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
