I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
