Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
