fuck your aforementioned shoe
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
