Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
